How to Talk to Girls

How to Talk to GirlsDo you have trouble talking to girls sometimes? If you don’t know how to open a set or don’t know what to say during a conversation, this will help you to overcome your approach anxiety and enable you to start a conversation with any woman. We’ll discuss topics such as approach-anxiety, confidence, openers, story-telling and testing. Basically all you need to have interesting conversations with girls.

What makes breaking the ice so hard ?

Sometimes it can be difficult to break the ice with an attractive woman, because you’re impressed by her good looks or by the amount of attention she gets from other men. Beautiful girls get hit on all the time, so you want to be that special guy with an original opener. You come up with a number of openers, evaluate each of them and then decide not to talk to her, because you think that your best opener isn’t good enough.

Another reason could be that the fear of rejection looms. Approaching someone can be difficult because you’re essentially saying something like “I like you, do you like me?” Because you already made clear that you’re into her only by approaching her, you give her the “power” in the conversation which makes you vulnerable to rejection in a certain way.

Now, both of the options described above are the result of deeper emotions: fear or insecurity. Nevertheless, it is not surprising that men aren’t eager to start conversations with girls all the time, because nobody would knowingly want to open themselves up for evaluation, right? Well, not quite. Confident people would, actually.

How to be confident ?

Confidence is a big factor when it comes to your well-being. Confident men are comfortable in their own skin and act in such a comfortable way too. Confident people know exactly what they want and pull out all the stops to achieve success. You can train your inner strength and self-confidence by sticking to some simple tips and tricks.

Know your strengths & weaknesses.

The first important factor that will help you to grow your confidence is knowing your strengths and weaknesses. Your strengths are closely related to positive emotions that boost your confidence, so using your strengths as much as you can is of great importance.

On the other hand, hiding your limitations is equally important. Keep both your feet on the ground, because others can use your limitations against you. Focus on your strengths instead and you’ll be safe.

Look good.

Another important factor is that you should have good posture and look good. The way you dress, carry yourself and look tells a lot about how you feel. Think of yourself as an important person with important goals to reach. As a result others will perceive and treat you in that way. When you first meet someone face-to-face, over 90% of how you are judged is based on your appearance and body language.

Be grateful.

Be grateful: focus on what you have instead of what you want. List the things you’re grateful for each day. List your achievements, past successes and unique qualities, as well as your loved ones when you wake up and when you go to sleep. Do this and you’ll radiate positivity everywhere you go. Others will respond with positivity which will create an upward spiral.

Inner Locus of Control.

Last but not least: develop an inner locus of control. This will help you to develop yourself and learn from what you’ve done wrong in the past. It’s human to make mistakes, but some people make the same mistakes over and over again; they don’t learn from the past. You’re in control of your own life and therefore responsible for the outcomes of your decisions. Believe that you can create your own luck and success and you allow yourself to do so.

Read more on how to be confident to boost your confidence to the sky. It will allow you to accomplish and achieve more than you ever dreamed of and it’s of great importance if you want to learn how to talk to girls.

Now that you know that self-confidence is very important when it comes to talking to girls, it’s time to discuss what you should and shouldn’t say during a conversation. Your chance to make a good impression is short, so you’ve got to make each second count from the start. This doesn’t mean that you should try to impress her of course. Read more on making an impression vs. impressing a girl.

How to talk to girls: don’ts.

Most guys come up with boring questions like “What’s your name ? “ or “Where do you work ? “ or something like that. You can be assured that most conversations turn out to be quite short if you ask such questions. Chances are that lots of other random guys have bored her with these kind of questions before. She’ll instantly see you as one of these random guys, but that’s exactly the opposite of what you actually want her to think, right ?

Don’t try to impress her.

Your goal should be to stand out. Now, most men tend to get trapped here. A lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that they need to be rich to stand out. Others think that being nice does the trick. It’s a mistake that most guys tend to make. Impressed by the way she looks and the amount of attention she gets, they feel the urge to compensate. As a result most men try to impress girls, which is definitely one of the worst things you can do.

Don’t brag.

The urge to impress someone often leads to bragging. Do this and she’ll surely see you as a ‘try-hard’ with without social skills. Confident people and most girls too know that bragging is the result of insecurity. What you actually do while bragging is lowering your attractive value. A person who brags a lot suffers from some sort of shortcoming and tries to cover up this shortcoming by telling others how rich, good or skilled they are. Don’t do this.

How to talk to girls: do’s.

Now that you know what you shouldn’t do, it’s time to focus on what you actually should do: be different in a positive way. You should be impressive without trying to impress her, because that will make you stand out from the rest. It will make you seem different than all the other guys.

How to start a conversation with a girl?

The most important part of a conversation is the initial phase, where the two of you first meet. There are some easy openers that tend to do well. Here are some useful openers:

Opinion opener.
Option one is asking her for her opinion on something that creates emotional engagement. Think of topics like relationships, jealousy or being friends with your ex. To maximize the effect of the emotional engagement you should drop your question in a casual way. Have a look at the following example to get the idea:

“Listen. A good friend of mine has this new girlfriend and they’ve been dating for 3 months now. Lately, she found out that he’s still friends with his ex. They’re just friends really, not fooling around or anything, but just friends. Now, she wants him to cut it off. Should he or? What do you think?”

Observational opener.
Another option that you have is the observational opener. Most people use this one. All you do is notice something interesting and share it. Make sure that you’re commenting on something interesting and not something obvious. Commenting on a graphic design on her shirt or something like that is what you’re looking for, but saying “You look great in that dress” won’t do the trick.

Humor opener.
Option three is the humor opener. Make her laugh and you’re in. Everything that you can do that gets a laugh is good, so be funny as much as you can.

Direct opener.
Option four is the direct opener. As the word says it’s quite direct and they involve walking up to a girl and saying “You look quite interesting, I’d like to get to know you.” or “You looked so beautiful that I had to come up and say hello.” These direct openers only work if the girl already indicated that she’d want to talk to her.

How to keep a conversation with a woman going?

Of course, an opener on its own isn’t enough. To keep things interesting, use story-telling and testing.

Tell your best stories.
Now, the question is how you can be interesting to a stranger. Storytelling may very well do the trick. Everyone has funny stories, jokes and games. It’s all about using this best stuff. If you don’t have any interesting or funny stories, you may want to look up some good stories on the internet. Of course you can also just make up some stories that do well.

Test her.
To keep the conversation interesting it’s a good idea to playfully tease her every now and then. Listen carefully for inconsistencies in what she says and use them against her. These so called nags will make her a little insecure, but that’s a good thing. She’ll feel the urge to compensate and as a result start qualifying herself to you. This is exactly what you need, because it makes you the leader in the conversation.


Use the tips and tricks described in this article and you’ll be able to talk to just about any girl. It’s not that hard as long as you’re confident and have interesting things to discuss. Girls are people too you know. Just go for it.